Hopscotching the Elephant

I said it wasn't that I didn't want to forgive myself

for my mistakes, it's that I never learned how to

separate myself like that. I am the Cognito ergo sum

of my mistakes, Forgiveness blunts the bitter edge 

I need to be hard on myself. I don't know different.

She said, Try approaching the forgiveness in steps,

in small pieces. Like eating an elephant: you're not

going to be able to do it all at once, never mind

even large chunks, so pace yourself; work a little 

at it every day. She said It's also like Hopscotch; 

you know the basics, everything else is moving 

through the motions you know. While I don't

hopscotch (I never learned), and I'm an ethical

omnivore (so elephant is right off the menu),

the rest makes sense to me somewhere deeper

than the spoken word. And while I don't know

the how, or the if, of forgiving oneself. Still, 

I recall a hopscotch song:  fire, fire, false alarm, 

I fell into forgiving's arms. Is this going to be

the one? Yes, no maybe so; yes, no, maybe so

The "Fire fire" chant adapted from a post on

Clattery MacHinery on Poetry
https://clatterymachinery.wordpress.com/category/hopscotch-songs/

Grateful for the inspiration.