spend two hours driving home from an event
that ran into the night. let caffeine carry
you further into early morning. you cannot
sleep. cannot sleep. you think of something,
happened fifteen years ago, what you said;
what you should have said. you run the fight
again, in your head. lose, again, in your head
bruises reappear. the same bruises as before.
nothing's changed. watch a movie you've seen
before. nothing changes. try throwing yourself
at sleep. miss. it's 4am now. decide to masturbate.
decide against it. sleep finally steals you away
you sleep until mid-morning. decide to sleep
a little while longer. it's 2:43 in the afternoon.
reheat yesterday's coffee. consider that old fight
what you should've said. lose a whole Sunday.