it helpfully prompts me with "What's on your mind?"
in the text window, and as an introvert,
I don't need that kind of pressure. My mind goes
blank and I wonder has anything happened to me,
or maybe something clever I said, or thought?
like I have to justify myself to the world
before breakfast. I type nothing, do not even
make a post when I can't think of anything
to say. My breakfast isn't even special
enough for a photo post, and though I keep
count of days sober (1,183 as of this writing
here...) I keep that to myself as well, unless
I should bring it up, and I don't. Except I just did,
which makes me sloppy, or a liar, or both,
and just like that-- breakfast or no breakfast--
I am struggling with how to communicate
when I don't know how to adjective authentically.
Maybe what I wrestle with is Impostor Syndrome,
or else that's just another thing I've learned to fake.